Give the members of San Jose's Heavy Heavy Low Low a little credit for at least admitting that they "have no musical training, [but] just try to make [their] songs as weird as possible," because were it not for this helpful information, some critics might actually be fooled into labeling their material with adjectives like "daring" or "visionary," instead of the more appropriate "skittish," "chaotic," and, most fitting of all, "unimpressive." For, you see, boys and girls, compositional anarchy in and of itself does not automatically great art make (not even Dadaist art -- check the dictionary), and awarding this band's debut album, Everything's Watched, Everyone's Watching, instantaneous merit simply for jumbling together elements of hardcore, death metal, indie rock, jazz, and anything else they could think of, would frankly be giving credit where it's not due.

Curious as they are for their sheer irrationality of structure and meaning, the 11 examples (why even bother calling them songs?) of stream-of-conscience freaking-out here won't impress listeners with any real knowledge of music's avant-garde, nor will they likely entertain most anyone who isn't! Yes, one can single out any number of nifty moments here and there: such as the cool bit of linear riffing in the cleverly named "Mall-Nutrition," the jazzy midsection and subsequent extreme metal fury of "I Forgot 2 and a Half Days," or the way dissonant guitar squalls combine quite well with sludgy chords and desperate shrieking at the end of "There's a Bat" -- but so what? Such rare memorable moments are over before you know it, so why bother investing oneself in hopes of a potential long-term payoff, when absurdities like closer "Party Girls" (a lo-fi recording featuring strangulated vocals over acoustic guitar and bongos) is so evidently taking the piss? Maybe the kids in Heavy Heavy Low Low are less to blame than their enablers, but that's still no excuse for 22 minutes of your life that you'll never get back.

Remember: by their own admission, these aren't musicians to be taken seriously yet -- they're just making things as weird as possible.

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