Vanguard, eh? Envision a penny dreadful being sung aloud inside a pub while Roni Size tries to squeeze drunken gospeltronica out of his sequencer banks.

Preternaturally naïve, unintentionally hilarious, whatever -- unpredictability oozes into every beer in the room.

So feel free to applaud -- amidst boy bands and Tim Buckley replicates, that's got to count for something.

Finley Quaye rattles off a spliff-induced Iggy Pop tribute ("Spiritualized") just a few tracks before he shows off how he didn't learn the lesson Liam Gallagher taught everybody with "Little James" (true couplet: "Don't you take my, my liberty/Boys and their toys bring noise").

Class.

There's also something about a mongoose and Suzy in a Jacuzzi, but the less one thinks about that the better.

Which is probably the best way to approach Vanguard: keep your distance, don't make eye contact, and nudge up the volume while you slowly back away.